This is what it must feel like.

I cannot imagine how it must feel. It hurts even to end a relationship. How does one manage to take the life of another? That I cannot imagine. If I were a murderer, I would not be able to live with the guilt. My grandmother did tell me that there are kinds of people in the world. I just could not imagine how different they could be from me. I cannot sleep. I don't want to. It is funny because all I wanted to do for the past week was sleep and now I cannot sleep. All I want to do is stay awake. I feel I've these pent up thoughts. Things I cannot imagine. I wonder what he is doing now. I believe he is already over it. That because yesterday is the first day, it was hard for him. He says I am wrong. I say we often misunderstand each other. I wonder what he would think of this blog and should I keep it a secret. I feel like I've murdered him. Except it is worst because he gets to live the life of a half-dead.